In connecting with problems and their source, we should see them objectively—how they appear and what they are—but we shouldn’t label them negatively. Otherwise our training could set in motion another cycle of emotions and suffering. Here is a simple example: If you have a pain in your head, it is good to know what is wrong and what the cause is. Similarly, if you have a problem with a friend, it is good to acknowledge the problem and understand it so that you can start dealing with it. But conceptually and emotionally, if you see and feel the problem as ‘‘bad,’’ ‘‘terrible,’’ ‘‘unbearable,’’ and so forth, then what is a relatively small difficulty will grow into a forest fire. The way to deal with problems emotionally is to say, ‘‘I have a headache, but that’s OK,’’ or at least, ‘‘It’s bad, but I can handle it,’’ or, ‘‘It’s painful, but everyone gets sick at one time or another.’’
In healing, no emotion is wrong needs to be denied. We should accept the existence of our feelings, welcome them, and allow them to surface so they can be released. If the training stirs up emotional pain, see it as positive, since the pain indicates that the training is having an impact and that a shaking-up process is taking place. It is okay to feel sad about problems. Allow yourself to feel your sadness and express it as a way of making contact with the root of the problem, to extract the root of pain from your system. If tears come, allow yourself to cry. Crying releases mental stress, physical pressure, and chemical toxins that build up when we hold pain in.